On The Road To Broken Dreams

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
ALFRED LORD TENNYSON

These famous words have rarely been spoken by Canadians who waited long to sponsor their foreign lovers who, once in Canada, broke their hearts and headed straight to the nearest welfare office.

I hear of several of these sad tales a month. The story usually starts with a winter holiday in an exotic resort or, perhaps, a chance encounter in an Internet chat room. Sometimes, it’s a meeting arranged by traditional parents.

The foreigner is so loving and warm and understands the real you. Unlike the people you have dated back home, they don’t seem to mind your shortcomings. They see in you the qualities that no one in Canada seems to see.

The men are chivalrous and remarkably attentive. The women cater to your every need.

Before you know it … you are in love, love, love!

Next, you return to your island paradise to make sure that that this was not just a dream. Or you go overseas to meet your Internet lover for the first time.

You invite them to Canada to visit you in your own home but the visa post callously refuses the application for a visitor’s visa. You can’t believe they can do this to you.

Before you know it, you are planning a whirlwind wedding and signing an undertaking to sponsor your new spouse’s application for permanent residence in Canada.

You spend months sending letters to the visa post begging them to speed up the application. Your spouse asks for your reassurances that you are doing everything possible to bring you together again. Your heart is bursting. You are harassing your MP for help. Your long-distance bills go through the roof.

Finally, after many months of longing and waiting, the visa is issued and your dreams of a new life are about to materialize.
You can hardly contain yourself when the love of your life arrives in Canada.

Your initial euphoria is short-lived as your spouse begins a gradual, but unmistakable, transformation. They are less
romantic and more withdrawn. They develop an insatiable appetite for anything that can be purchased with your money. The arguments — which were non-existent overseas — are now part of your daily routine.

As suddenly as it all began … it ends. Your spouse leaves you and goes to stay with a friend or relative.

You later find out they are collecting welfare. You re-read the immigration forms you signed and remember that you undertook to support your spouse for a period of three years. You suddenly feel badly duped. You are convinced your spouse was never in love with you but was only using you to get into this country.

Clearly, not all foreign romances end this way. But some do.

Next week I will address the options these heart-broken Canadians have in these sad situations.